Our most popular service is the Joy Audit, a one hour assessment of your home in which Master Oolong walks from room to room, pausing at each object. He does not speak. He looks. If he blinks slowly, the object sparks joy and is safe. If he stares, the object is under review. If he yawns, the object is already gone.
At the end, you receive a report, written by Bao in careful pawprint. It lists each object, its rating, and a recommendation. Typical results include: lamp, keep. Vase, doubtful. Chair, sat on. Clock, fate unclear.
The audit costs $29. A follow up audit is free if you are able to say what the clock was for.
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